photo has been altered to protect the not so innocent

Thursday, January 17, 2013

am i completely insane?

the past few weeks i've been vacillating between continuing on this journey as a stay at home mom or embarking on a career change. 

thought #1:

doing something like this...the scream truck. these two women have "balls", literally! they decided to delve into the world of food trucks with a healthier approach to ice cream. i love their cheekiness!

thought #2: 

becoming a florida gator and pursuing a second masters degree.

both are essentially insane ideas. 

could i possibly juggle either without interfering with my current, rather stress-free lifestyle? would i break out in my stress rash again where i end up looking like a 13 year old boy? would i want to cry everyday? would my husband REALLY be so jacked about me being a florida alum like him once he realizes how crazy going back to school will make me? 

am i insane or what?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

the big bad bus

like any respectable 5 year old, my kid started kindergarten this year (totally kidding about the respectable 5 year old thing). after convincing my husband to let her ride the bus she was ready for the big trip to and fro.

we started off with a bang! she was up and at 'em at 3:30 am the first day to ensure that she was at the stop in time (note pick up time is 7:41 am). that only happened once. we rode the bus for the first few weeks without a hiccup and then out of nowhere, girls started being girls!

it took just one morning for a first grade girl to tell her that she couldn't sit with her and we were done! no more morning bus rides. there was no convincing her to get back on the bus even with a little encouragement from the bus driver.

a few afternoons later, she literally walked off the bus in a puddle of tears. one of the school safety patrols put her at the back of the bus and she was afraid to move for fear of getting yelled at, so instead she sat at the back and cried all the way home. she was so upset i honestly thought something really bad had happened to her, but fortunately it was only her location (K's are supposed to sit in the first few rows not the back). 

we've had a few pick up snafoo's the first semester of school that leave me slightly panicky. 

Exhibit a: the bus that is supposed to arrive at the stop at 3:30 arrived at 3:15 and a neighbor kid walked her to our house for me to find her on our front step as i walked out the front door. hence, a little girl in tears. nice one mom...but who ever heard of the bus being EARLY??

Exhibit b:  a grandparent was picking her up from the bus stop and didn't see the bus so decided to take a loop around the block inevitably missing the bus. helpful neighbor kid escorts her halfway home. girl in tears. annoyed bus driver.

Exhibit c: dad picking up at the bus stop. bus had reached the stop, but endearing daughter would not get off the bus because she didn't see anyone there to get her. bus driver backs bus up to our driveway (3 houses away), drops her off. pissed bus driver complains to dad (picking up for the first time and late i might add) who replies and neglects to tell me about said words.

Exhibit d: next day, mom is picking girl up on time waiting patiently to say hi like she does every day and gets told off by the bus driver. my mouth drops in dismay, shock and embarrassment. apparently dad's reply the day prior went a little something like this... "yeah, well, sometimes life sucks!" the driver proceeds to tell me that the next time there isn't someone standing at the bus stop he will drive her back to school and "that guy" is just rude. 

seeing visions of bus riding privileges revoked. i am now scared of the bus driver. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

New Year's Revelations

1. Hangovers suck, especially with kids (I already knew this, but seem to forget every time I drink).

2. Seeing two close friends bury a parent over the past month makes me want to be a better spouse, mom and friend. 

3. I need to find a job that I can work from home with very little effort and make a bazillion dollars doing it. 

4. Way too many people fart for my liking in yoga class.