photo has been altered to protect the not so innocent

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

older & wiser

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer.

here’s what I have learned about getting older…

1.  my wrinkles have names. i have 11’s and bunny lines.
2. muscle relaxers are nice, but i’m a total idiot for a day and a half later.
3.   drinking is an excellent stress reliever,  but the hangover the day after is so not worth it   since i can’t sleep all day long anymore.
4.   your kids always know you’ve had too much to drink because they wake up at the crack of  dawn the morning after.
5.   drunk sex is the way to go.
6.   my boobs look like empty ziplock bags without a bra.
7.   mean girls are bitches when they grow up.
8.   i can gain a pound a day with very little effort.
9.   i have an intimate relationship with my bed buddy… it’s not what you’re thinking!

and there you have it!

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

It's official. We are the same person.