photo has been altered to protect the not so innocent

Sunday, February 19, 2012

m.w.f. seeking sunset serenity

with president's day upon us and no reason to get up early monday morning, i thought tonight would be a perfect opportunity to hit the beach for the sunset which we never make an effort to go see. my husband hates the sand, so i have him "the out" which is fine because his stereo equipment went on the fritz today and he just needed some time alone to reflect.

off i went with the girls. i packed dried out chicken fries that i tried to pass off as fresh, grapes, blueberries, a few capri sun's and some cans of bud light lime (for me, not the kids). we trekked down to the shore and happened upon a pelican / seagull feeding frenzy. the girls freaked! they didn't want to go on the beach for fear of a pelican attack. "don't be silly girls, they birds are just having their dinner. let's go enjoy the beach." famous last words.

here's how it went down...

mom opens nice cold can of bud light lime.
daughter 1 & 2 frolic freely along the beach picking up shells, twirl about, get covered in sand, scream loudly they are covered with sand, "request" rinse, sea rinse encouraged but met with objection and fear. supervised rinse takes place, shrill screaming begins. salt water stings skin, screams are heard across the gulf, daughter 1 & 2 wrapped in emergency beach towels to soothe the pain. mom downs beer and suggests a nice cool capri sun will soothe the pain. works. dried chicken served with a few grapes. eaten with minimal commentary. mom opens beer #2 (attempting to hide it from elderly folks who appear to be playing sudoku on their smart phones). i get shit on by a seagull. it stinks. i stink like dead fish. natives get restless. wave of unbearable fatigue sets in to both children who have lost the ability to communicate appropriately, put shoes on and walk. mom shoves open beer into beach bag, carries beach bag, cooler and daughter 2 to shower. rinse begins. shower creates sudden urge to urinate on oneself...nakedness ensues. mom downs beer. pack mule reloads and treks back to car while winds pick up and starts to rain. 

and here's what i was reminded of...

bringing my kids to the beach is a pain in the ass. i hate getting shit on by smelly seagulls which are really just like rats with wings or is that pigeons? i'm my kids' "beach bitch".i find an overwhelming need to have an alcoholic beverage in my hands on a very regular basis in order to deal. in the end, it's all worth the hassle because you end up with this 

and this!

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